its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
