This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
