..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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