You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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