I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
