Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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