Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm both gender and math confused
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