that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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