I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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