Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize