I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
