tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
