I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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