He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
