I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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