i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
