I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
