if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
