I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
