btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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