i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Never underestimate the power of titties
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
