Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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