I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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