O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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