I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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