Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
