I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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