Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i dont even know how to be here
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize