I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
