is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
