I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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