OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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