i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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