Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
