I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
