Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
