you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
