I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
