under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
