I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
God I need to hump something, right now.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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