check it out our google latitudes are spooning
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
