Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he thought i was a dude.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize