How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I smell stomach acid.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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