Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize