sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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