just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
