The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
