What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize