Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize