: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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