Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
