Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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