Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it

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(251): View more from Alabama

He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.

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(818): View more from California

Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.

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(727): View more from Florida

josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater

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(606): View more from Kentucky

only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.

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(813): View more from Florida

Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.

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(305): View more from Florida

Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.

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