ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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