He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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