i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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