porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
