they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
