The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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