Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
