I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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