I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just high enough for therapy.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
